


Fade Into You

by reylomami



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Coping Mechanisms, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Family Angst, Fluff and Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Memory Loss, Nurse!Rey, mazzy star's fade into you is the inspo song for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 13:42:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylomami/pseuds/reylomami
Summary: Based on the Twitter prompt: “Rey is Han Solo’s doting nurse at the assisted living facility. Ben is the son who has to be guilted to come visit as his dad’s memory slowly slips away.”





	Fade Into You

**Author's Note:**

> _"You live your life, you go in shadows_   
_You'll come apart and you'll go black_   
_Some kind of night into your darkness_   
_Colors your eyes with what's not there_

Kylo storms in and plops himself on his leather seat, ready to unwind from the disastrous conference meeting and get to his own work done in the solitude of his office space. But just as he’s loosening his wretched tie, a rapid knock raps on his door and Armitage Hux lets himself in.

“Oh, fuck off, Hux. Not now.”

“The Takodana Retirement Home called again,” Hux sneers. “If they weren’t still referring to you as Ben Solo, I could have easily directed all concerns to your PA.”

“So let Mitaka handle it.” Kylo pointedly ignores Hux as he sieves through the paperwork awaiting him on his mahogany desk.

“Mitaka will report it to Snoke, and unless you want more problems to compound what we have already, I’d strongly advise against it.”

Kylo, without sparing a glance, waves his hand. “Fine. Then get on it. What do they want? An incremental deposit?”

“Well, if you must know, your father’s nurse was on the phone this time. Very angry-sounding. I told her that I’m just the messenger. And that it’s not my fault if you fail to follow up after being reminded.”

“And what exactly is she reminding on if not for money?”

“Something about your father’s health – she wouldn’t say because apparently they’ve tried to tell you multiple times – “

“ – You know I can’t help that I get too much spam messages all the time.”

“ – Yes, I said that. So she insisted you come down and take a look for yourself.”

At this, Kylo looks up. A scowl paints his face at what Hux said.

“She really said that?”

“Yes. For the love of God, please do it, Ren. I no longer wish to be the recipient of Takodana calls anymore.”

Kylo shakes his head, conceding, and looks back at his paperwork.

“Fine.”

“He _thinks_. Praise be.”

Relieved, Hux makes to leave but pauses at the door to look back at Kylo. “Also some advice: you should probably legally change your name already. Keeping secrets can backfire even if we don’t intend on anything malicious about them – “

“ – Fuck off, Hux.”

\+ + +

It takes two weeks for Kylo to arrange a trip to across the coasts. Besides Hux’s angry reminder texts, he’s not apologetic about it. It’s cathartic to have Hux bear the brunt of his personal life.

He drives from his hotel to Takodana Residences without urgency.

“I’m here for Han Solo?” He tells the receptionist upon arrival.

The dark-skinned man looks up, brows clearly raised in surprise. “Are you Ben Solo?”

Kylo cringes a bit. But he manages a curt nod anyway.

“Here, right this way.” The man stands and leads Kylo out of the reception office, out onto the retirement village.

There’s a bunch of aged folks dallying around – be it the benches or strolling with canes and walking assistance. A couple of nurses are seen, and Kylo regards the retirement village’s ecosystem with slight intrigue.

Remembering that he was here because his father’s nurse insisted so, he turns to the man asks, “I’ll need to speak to my father’s nurse on proper conduct. I can’t have her telling me when to come by as and when they like.”

“Yes, we know you’re a very busy man.” The nurse, whose name tag displays ‘Finn’, says. “But Takodana boasts excellence in services and professionalism. We wouldn’t call unless something’s out of our capacity.”

Kylo rolls his eyes at this. _Professionalism and Service Excellence_, so they say.

“Sure.”

They reach what he presumes to be Han’s house. Finn knocks on the door and it doesn’t take long for a short, dark-haired nurse to open the door.

“Rose? What are you doing here?”

She looks flustered. “Rey needed help. Mr Solo is having an episode again.”

Kylo frowns. “Episode? What episode?”

A crashing sound echoes from inside and the three of them exchange looks. Kylo pushes his way in, following the sound of repeated glass shattering.

When he arrives, the scene is devastating to watch. His father stands at the kitchen, sliding his arm across the plates and letting them fall and break onto the floor. At first Kylo thinks he’s angry, but the soothing sound of a nurse consoling him tells him otherwise.

“What’s going on?”

The sound of Kylo’s voice catches both his father and the nurse’s attention. Han’s face is a sloshy red – he’s never seen him cry before. It’s a shaking sight.

“Benjamin.”

Han ambles over to his son. The height difference is staggering – it’s been too long since he stood before his father.

“Your mother’s gone.”

Kylo frowns. He looks over his father’s head to the three nurses who are watching from the two corners of the kitchen, searching for explanations. When they could not provide any (or were too hesitant to interrupt the father-son moment), Kylo looks down at Han.

“Yes, I know,” he says slowly, carefully weighing his father’s reaction. “It’s been a year, Dad.”

As Han crumbles into him like he’d never experience before, he sees the pretty nurse shed a single tear from far behind at the sight of it.

\+ + +

They manage to wind Han down and get him to catch some sleep. It was a laborious task given the emotional baggage and past grudges that seemed to have been completely set aside. Han’s deteriorating memory has conveniently ignored the awkward tensions of his relationship with his son.

And Ben does not know what to make of that situation, given that he draws all his anger from these painful memories.

He’s deep in this vortex of thoughts as he sweeps the kitchen floor. If not for the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs, he would have forgotten that his father’s nurse was still around. The other two left as soon as Han was settled in.

“I think you’ve swept the floor well enough,” chimes in the voice.

Kylo looks up at her, and she eyes the very pristine clean floor he’s been sweeping at. In his distracted state, he had let his rote actions takeover without realizing that the work has been done.

Kylo clears his throat and sets the broom and dustpan aside as the nurse approaches the cabinets near him to return Han’s medication in its rightful place.

“It’s about time you came,” she says.

“How long has this been happening?”

“For as long as the past three months.”

“_Jesus Christ_.”

The nurse looks at him and nods in agreement. “It’s heartbreaking to see him like this.”

“Does it occur everyday?”

“No, but it’s been getting more frequent.”

The nurse turns and leans against the kitchen counter. Kylo sees that her name tag says ‘Rey’. Not that he needed to know that, given how Han had repeatedly apologized to her upon realizing that he had a relapse again.

“He forgets like almost every other week now, and every time he is reminded that Leia’s gone, he crumbles and loses it – blames himself for a lot of things. Family stuff that I don’t know about.”

“I can imagine,” Kylo mutters.

Their family has experienced a lot of things at the expense of Han’s insouciance: the gambling addiction, the absence during Ben’s critical teenage years, then driving his own son away, and the near-divorce situation when he was away.

“Why do you do it?” Rey asks out of nowhere.

Kylo frowns. “Do what?”

“Why do you make it a point to avoid him?” She clarifies. “When Finn told me you weren’t responding to our calls, I tried to reach you myself but it’s always your assistant answering me and disregarding everything that I have to say.”

There’s a smug satisfaction in knowing that Armitage Hux is being mistaken for his PA.

When he doesn’t answer, Rey prompts him again. “Well?”

“He never treated me like a son back then, why should I treat him as my father now?”

The answer clearly repels her. He shoudn’t feel rustled by it, but something about her makes him feel so.

“You clearly don’t realise how much he loves you,” she whispers. “_’My son could do this, my son could do that…_’ You’re all he talks about.”

Kylo does not believe her. “That’s very hard to believe.”

But Rey presses on. “It’s true! He tells me about your achievements, how smart and gifted you are and that he doesn’t deserve someone like you – “

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Han here?”

“ – He tells me how if he could turn back time he’d undo all his mistakes just to make it up to you.”

Kylo does not buy this dreamlike situation. It sickens him. He closes his eyes for a bit. “Enough.”

“ – How he’d work hard to save enough to get you a calligraphy set – “

“_Rey_.”

“ – Send you to an Ivy League without some sketchy scholarship’s help, how – “

“I said _enough_,” he cuts her off in finality. He glares at her, right into the hazel eyes. He sees a hint of fear flash in her eyes (perhaps from the booming quality of his voice). Her lips part in surprise.

But the look in her eyes is so quickly replaced by something else he cannot quite recognize and it undoes him for a moment.

“I said what I said,” Kylo says, recalling himself. “And my reasons for distancing myself away are valid enough.”

“But – “

“You know what I think?”

Rey frowns at him, unsure of where this defensive-turned-attack mode is coming from. This same fiery, competitive spirit that she’s seen hints of in Han before.

“What?” she prompts him.

“I think you’re just some third-party, who’s seen a side of our ruined family and is trying to play the hero and savior by trying to get what is left of this family together again to feed your morale. I had no reason to be here – Takodana is clearly capable of dealing with situations like this. It’s what you guys boast about all the time. I didn’t have to be here and yet you have the gall to inconvenience me like this.”

Rey is alarmed at all that he says.

“Are you serious?” She shakes her head in disbelief. “I’ve never seen your father unwind the way he did when you were there. You’re so selfish, you know that?”

It’s not something he’s never heard before so Kylo shakes his head and rummages the refrigerator for a drink.

“You don’t know what your father is going through,” she continues. “If you’d just visit him more, he’d get better! It does him no good to be surrounded by unfamiliar faces.”

“He’s been here for awhile now, I’m sure he’s gotten familiar with everyone. Don’t fuck with me.”

Rey, exasperated, flings her arm in the air. “You’re not _listening_! Your father needs help, but medical intervention doesn’t do it all – he just needs to see you more often, as I’ve tried to tell you for the past few months – “

Kylo uncaps a beer bottle a little too fervently. “He _doesn’t_ need my help.”

Rey groans before righting herself again to retain any semblance of professionalism. “If you could just _see_ past his mistakes from before, you’ll come to realise how earnest he is about wishing things had been better between you two and he’ll get _better_ if you’re around more often. You have to believe me on this.”

Kylo rolls his eyes. “I know you intend well, but you know nothing about having a dysfunctional family like mine. So know your place.”

This silences Rey, and Kylo knows he’s won.

“That’s awfully presumptuous of you.”

“What? You’re a kid of a gambling addict or alcoholic too?”

Rey rolls her eyes this time. She refuses to answer him.

“Goodnight, Ben,” she says in finality. “In case you’ve forgotten, it’s Han’s birthday this weekend too.”

_Oh fuck_.

“I can only assume you delayed your visit to time it well for his birthday.”

Kylo shakes his head. “I can’t make it.”

Rey does not believe what he’s saying. “Are you really serious?”

“I’ve got a company to take care of, okay. You do your job and I do mine.”

Rey assesses him there and then. It bristles him and he wills himself to seem like the more dominating one between them.

“Han always said he experienced life a little too excessively to the point he had none,” she mutters, never removing her eyes from him. “He feared the same for you. Except that you shun yourself from people and connection. He feared that the most for you. That you’ll end up alone, if you keep this façade up.”

The words are cutting, and he flinches.

“And you’ll regret it when you’re in his position next time.”

Kylo cuts her off. “Then hopefully I’ll be dead before then.”

Like a hot iron, Rey retracts herself from him.

“Goodnight, Ben.”


End file.
